Struggling and Suffering is Optional

"You must crawl before you walk." "With hard work and sacrifice, you will make it." These are the things our society has placed on us that means that it's okay for us to suffer in order to be successful or live a peaceful, uplifting, productive, and loving life.

Many ways to Give

One of the things that I'm getting used to here in Houston, at least where I am, is the number of people who are standing on the corners and under the freeways holding signs, such as "need food" or "need money." Frankly, I hadn't seen much of it where I lived outside of Atlanta. I'm finally at peace with giving my attention, my heart, money, and prayer--it's usually one or the other. I no longer feel that I always need to give money. I give smiles, and I uplift and encourage people.

This morning, I was waiting for a red light to change green, and there I saw a man standing on the island between two roads eating something. I noticed the trash around him on the ground. Once he finished eating his food, he tossed the food wrapper to the ground and picked up his sign, "need money." I do not like pollution. So, as I started immediately judging him, he began his stroll up and down the island, coming right in front of my window. Within seconds, I grabbed my wallet, and of course, he stopped. I said, "If I promise to give you this dollar bill, will you promise to pick up all of your trash and throw it in that garbage can across the street?" He said, "I promise." And I said, "Please don't pollute." He said, "Okay."

I looked in my rearview mirror and saw him picking up the trash. Thank God!

Peace and Blessings!

Bless You!

This particular morning, I was grateful that I was willing just to let go and just be.  Some days, it’s challenging just to let it all go—what people think, what I look like, how she interpreted my response and paying bills.  It was liberating this morning to let it all go. 

During meditation, I promised myself that I would try my absolute best to focus on the Divine Presence this entire day, every minute and every second.  I didn’t want to think, but I wanted to give of myself completely.  So, my question was, “How can I give more on this day?” 

So, as I sat in the cubicle, in a room of solitude, grading papers for my English Composition class, I heard one male voice greeting me.  I returned the greeting.  I saw him walk out of the office.  If I stood, I could see the top of someone’s head, but I remained focused on my work.  I thought I was alone, and I was so engaged in reading and correcting students' papers that I almost didn't hear the person, who appeared to be coughing or sneezing, sitting across the aisle on the opposite side of the cubicles. I said, "Bless You," without waiting for a response from him.

After about 15 minutes, I was startled by another male professor.  He said, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”  I said, “I thought I was alone in here.” He asked, “Were you the one who said, “Bless you?”  Hurried to get back to my work so I could finish before my deadline, I nodded.  He said:

My name is…, and I just want you to know that I had gotten something stuck in my throat, and it had cut off my breathing.  I couldn’t yell, and I didn’t know anyone else was here.  I was terrified that no one would be able to help me, so I panicked and was afraid to walk.  I tried and tried to remove the food, but it was stuck.  I felt myself feeling faint, so I made another attempt to cough it out.   That is when I heard a quick and precise, “Bless you.”  I felt at peace after I heard your voice, and I relaxed and thanked God for being here with me.  I tried to take a deep breath, and the food popped out.” 

I was shocked that all of this was going on, and I was right on the other side of the aisle (there are two aisles with cubicles lining on both sides).  The professor said, “You just don’t know how much you helped me.  You saved my life.”  I said, “Oh no, it was that greater than me, and by grace, God used my voice because I wasn’t even paying attention to know if you were coughing, sneezing, or choking, but my heart is always open and sincere, at least I try."

He grabbed my left hand with both of his hands and said, “Thank you for allowing God to use you.”

The professor walked away, and I was just in a place of humility, gratitude, enthusiasm, and peace.  Then I repeated the words I had said to Divine Presence early that morning, “How can I give more on this day?”

I thought no more of it because I knew that Divine Presence is always right where I am and where you are.  We need just to know this, and God will always respond.

Light and Love to all of you!

Vickie Mujahid

"Chit"-- Snap out of it!

My daughter, Jannah, loves to watch Cesar Millan's show, Cesar 911. One Friday night, Jannah said, "Mom, you have to watch this show with me.  It's amazing to see how Cesar trains dogs."  I wasn't a bit interested, but in pursuit of spending a little quality time with her, I opted to watch it.  That night, I looked at that episode and three additional recorded ones on the DVR.  I wasn't sure what I liked about the show at first, but then I latched onto the word, "energy," which he used multiple times in one episode.  The underlining theme was always about how dogs act according to the energy that their owners project.  If this particular owner wanted his dog to be calm instead of unruly, then he had to exude calmness himself and expect peace from his adorable pooch.

Cesar snapped his fingers and made a distinct sound that snapped his dog's brain out of his current behavior.  The pet owner was amazed at the level of calmness his pet obtained within minutes after Cesar used his instructional sound of "chit" to calm his dog, simultaneously using his foot to slightly tap the dog's stomach. 

This behavioral correction that Cesar uses to snap dogs out of their current state made me think about a scene I saw on television the night before.  A woman who was hysterical based on what she thought was happening wouldn't calm down, so someone slapped her face, pulling her from her state of panic.  Although I think I need a real slap in the face sometimes to snap me out of all the negativity and lies my mind conjures up, I thought the "chit" sound with a snap of my fingers would suffice in snapping my ego out of ranting and repeatedly raving about what happened, what could go wrong, and projecting illusions into the future, allowing my body to experience these events as if they were actually happening!

As always, and the very next day after looking at Cesar 911, I had the opportunity to try my new "snapping-out-of-it" technique.  Negation, doubt, worry, and fear, like a thief in the night, crept up on me, pushing me into a silent panic. The warmth that covered my body followed by a chill made me aware that those negative thoughts had already been flooding my brain before I could recognize them.  I took a deep breath and looked at each thought one by one.  Before I could complete one coherent thought, here comes another one.  I realized, as I've done previously, I AM witnessing all of these thought forms; I AM seeing them as if I were watching a scene on a television show.  I snapped my fingers and said, "Chit." I did it twice more until I was able to quiet my ego enough so that I can hear and feel what is real and genuine about me:  I am perfect, whole, and complete.  The distance grew between me and the negative thoughts the more I said those words. In fact, creating that space between me--I AM--made me pay attention to that space.  It was silence, and it was peace. My body felt light, and I felt expanded without any limits.  It was brief, but I felt serenity.  

"Chit" There is no need to feel unworthiness.  You are worthy, and you are loved and loving.

"Chit" No one is mad at you or think that you are anything.  Stop it.  All is well.

"Chit" There isn't any lack or limitations in your life.  You come from abundance; you live in abundance; you are stronger than you can imagine.  Know that you are, and you shall be. 

Whatever it takes for you to return to your truth, which is that you are perfect, whole and complete and that you are a powerful being with unconditional love, peace, joy, potential, and abundance.  Feel love because that's what you are and stay grateful always by celebrating everything you can in life, and in that feeling tone, accept all the beauty and peace you can hold.  

When I began writing this post several months ago, I dared not count the number of times I had to "snap" my brain out of being paralyzed with fear.  Now, I'm focusing on how deep I can live in quietness and how much my soul can listen to the beauty, wisdom, and love that are forever flowing, just be creating space between me and my mind chatter.  After all, we are not our thoughts.  Like all things in this Universe, thoughts are just energy, and we do not have to download and digest them.  Peace and sweet blessings!

Giving Doesn't Always Feel Good

This is my father, George Lee Jackson. He transitioned the morning after I had visited him--November 9, 2014.  I will never forget those precious moments with him.  It's almost as if we reconciled all of our differences that had occupied space in our relationship for most of my life in just a few minutes, more like seconds.  

I had once thought of my dad as such a stubborn, stern person who spoke his mind without any hesitation.  But, as I spent the last few years with him, I understood that my daughter, Jannah, and I, coupled with his fond memories of his mom, were the soft spots in his heart.  

Yes, I complained and doubted him about the times that he needed me. Yes, I hissed at the way he told me he needed my help, which were more commands with undoubtedly driven force.  I went along doing what he needed me to do to the best of my ability.  It wasn't easy. It was, in fact, very difficult in my mind to succumb to his demands.  The time I had spent surrendering to hearing what my purpose is in order to understand how I would grow had driven me to give unconditionally to him, while all the time identifying what I thought were his faults that included his faults from my childhood.  

At times, I hopped to his requests with sincerity and happiness, and with such gratitude, and it was joyous for me to feel those moments of pleasure and bliss. I kept saying during these specific times, "Thank you, Universe."  

This morning as I spent time in silence, I realized that most of the time I give, I'm so excited, happy, humbled, and generous.  But, I also admitted to myself that giving doesn't always feel good.  So, I asked during communing with Divine Presence, "How do I continue to give when it doesn't feel good, and why did I continue to give to my dad?"  The answer is always in the question.  Simultaneously, we ask and hear what the soul is expressing--if we listen.  The answer was simply because he needed me more than he has ever needed anyone, and he was happy to get any small or large amount I was willing to give.  I found myself thinking how I wished I had given so much more. I love and miss my dad.

When we spend time in and with Silence--God--Divine Presence, we always want to give more because we are that which is speaking to and through us.  Giving is not always easy or doesn't always feel good, but if we stay in tuned just a little bit, listening for guidance within, we will do exactly what is needed in order to help others, even though we think they don't want or deserve our help. 

As the tears fall from my eyes this morning, I realize that I'm cleansing, letting go of guilt, and I'm continuously driving out the fear that somehow always manages to creep back in through my thoughts.  I'm grateful for the courage, the strength, and the desire to be free and to be honest with myself.

Thank you for allowing me to share in this place of peace.  I'm grateful.  Peace and sweet blessings to you, always!

Striving vs. Doubting

"Windows to the World" is an event at Allgood Elementary School, my daughter's school, recognizing and honoring people and cultures around the world.

I can't believe that it's been about seven months since I've posted something here in this space of peace.  I must say, I'm glad to be back and expressing peace in only the way that my heart knows how to do so and that's through understanding, forgiveness, and compassion, topped with infinite love that needs to express through all of us.

So, let me get right to the point.  There are times when I know that I'm striving to only hear and feel that which is trying to express through me.  Then, there are times when doubt seems to flood my brain. I smile and realize that I am now doubting less and striving more--progress!

We come to a point when we are sick and tired of doubting.  We come to a point when we are relieved that each day presents a beginning that allows us to continue to strive for that which we know we came here to experience on this beautiful planet.  So, we wait.  We have patience. While we wait, evolvement continues, and we are grateful for the new beginnings, for the desire to strive because it is so much better than placing the attention on doubt.  Then we realize what we are waiting for is happening, and we are not waiting at all.  We are on our journey, and it is remarkable.

"Hit and Hug"

I thought it had only been a couple of days of missing my daily quiet time of reading and meditation until I took a scan in my mind.  I realized it had been several days, almost a week and a half where I rushed out of the door getting somewhere while busting at the seams with anxiety. I thought to myself, "Oh, no--this is not going to work.  I love feeling my ONENESS with Source."

No wonder my dad told me to slow down while I was driving him to the grocery store. I tend to drive not as smoothly when I am anxious. I had reassured him that I was going slowly, and I was a careful driver.  He's just been idle too long sleeping on and off daily in his "lazy" chair. 

After my self-realization that I had gone days without meditation and prayer, this particular day I set my alarm to ensure that I would engage in my communion with Divine Presence, and afterward, I felt rejuvenated.  The night before, I listened to Rev. Michael Beckwith during Agape's Service about "staying tuned."  I love when I pay attention to confirmations! I repeated the words several times as I walked out of my door for the day, "Stay tuned, Vickie. Stay tuned."

Well, on a long stretch of land where traffic is heavy during the morning, I drove 70 miles per hour while taking my daughter, Jannah, to school on a 65-mile-per-hour road until I came to a stop light.  My daughter reminded me that I needed to write her a letter for school.  I wrote it quickly while stopped at the red light, and then the light turned green.  I handed her the pen and paper and proceeded to drive when I looked down briefly for a couple of seconds to see where the pen had dropped. I looked up, and the car in front had completely stopped. I ran into the back of his Ford Mustang, an older car, but still a nice car.

Immediately, the anxiety rushed from my ankles to my hands, my ears, and my head.  I took a deep breath, held back my tears and fear, and said, "Stay tuned."  I asked Jannah if she was okay; she nodded her head with a "yes." I got out of my car to make sure the driver wasn't hurt.  He was all right. When he got out of his car, I was shocked how much smaller he appeared than he did while sitting in his vehicle.  His light brown beard reached just below his neck; his thick mustache covered his thin lips, and his eyes appeared as if he were squinting through a peep hole.  I noticed his boots untied and his pants slightly dirty.  But what caught my attention is that he had a bulge in his left cheek.  As he moved his mouth around, it reminded me of my great uncle who use to sit on his porch and chew tobacco

He said he would call the police, and I said I would call my job. "Stay tuned, Vickie."  I got back in my car to get my phone, but before I dialed the numbers to my job, I got out of the car and asked Kendall his name.  He answered, and I addressed him by saying, "Kendall, I'm Vickie, and I don't want a ticket, but I want to make sure that we repair your car and that you are not hurt. Can we handle this without the police?"

He spits brown saliva from the tobacco out of his mouth, and said, "I don't have to call the police; I thought that you wanted me to call them."  But, your car has a dent in it."  "It's fine, he said, I have a buddy who owns an auto body shop, and he can fix it."

"Well, here is my insurance information, I said."  "I don't need it.  I just want to make sure your kid is fine."  I took a deep breath and said, "She is doing fine, and we both are okay."  Kendall  said, "Well, that's all we need to do."  I took a deep breath, and said, "Thank you, Kendall.  Can I give you a hug?"  He said, "Sure."

So, here we are a White male with a thick, long beard wearing a Confederate baseball cap, chewing tobacco and a Black female with long hair locks wearing high heel shoes, hugging tightly on the side of a highway.  As I walked back to my car, I looked at the new set of people in their cars now at that same red light where Kendall and I had stopped minutes before.  Of course, they were looking at us strangely.  Because their windows were down, I yelled to a female and man in the car closest to my car, "I got a hug for hitting him."

I am so grateful for "staying tuned," listening, praying, meditating and knowing that all of my needs are always met, knowing how to remove anxiety and to slow down when driving.  I am here to LOVE the world!  I FEEL it!  And I'm having a blast doing it!

Help: It is a Gift

I love to commune with Divine Presence on a daily basis because it confirms that I am not alone, that the I AM is always present, leading and guiding me.  However, sometimes I forget that God provides us with a sensational help by working through other people.  I have a habit of saying, "That's okay.  I'm fine.  I can make it without your help."  Some may call it pride; some may call it lack of self-worth, and some may even call it a lie.  For me, I don't want to put stress on anyone else, at least that's what I tell myself.  So, I try to do it all by myself while thinking how much easier it would have been to have accepted "her" help.

Sometimes, I admit to myself a lot about the things that I know to do and  know not to do in terms of staying aware of my actions, but for whatever reason, I still have difficulty conforming to what I know is right.  Then suddenly, something clicks within my mind, and then I understand on a deeper level.  Today, this little story I read inside of Mary Manin Morrissey's book, No Less Than Greatness, really penetrated my awareness.  This passage not only opened me to be grateful for those who offer their help to me, but it allowed me to be conscious of receiving their help, and it allowed me to be considerate and passionate about their abilities and their desires to help me.  Their help is God's gift to them, and to me.  Here is the passage:

A boy and his father were out walking when they came across a large stone.  The boy said to his father, "Do you think if I use all my strength, I can move this rock?" His father  answered, "If you use all your strength, I am sure you can do it."

 

The boy began to push the rock.  Exerting himself as much as he could, he pushed until sweat poured off his forehead, but the rock did not budge.  Discouraged, the boy told his father, "You were wrong.  I can't do it."

 

The father place his arm around the boy's shoulder and said, "No, son. I was not wrong.  You didn't use all of your strength.  "You didn't ask me for help."

 

--ANONYMOUS

How I Hug God

 

My daughter, Jannah, and her friend

 

 

Sometime ago, I envisioned myself hugging a room full of people, one by one.  Then I felt the need to hug everyone I came in contact with, rather in a room or out in the public.  After I completed my meditation session, I thought, “People are not open to complete strangers hugging them.”  Just like that, I talked myself out of it through my thinking because I was afraid of rejection, even though I had that deep desire.  I decided to just go with the flow and be available to the possibility of people accepting hugs from me.

Today, I trace all of the people I have hugged and thought about how natural and genuine it felt after just meeting and talking with them for a short period of time.  During random conversations a few times with “strangers” in a public place, I said, “Can I just give you a hug?”  Before I can finish my question, we were hugging. I realize that there will come a time when I will hug people just to be hugging them.  I am open to it now.  It’s amazing how if we just give a little opening to our hearts, God will do the rest. 

After meditating today, I realize that when I hug you, I am hugging God.  God works with us by working through us.  Every day, we are hugged by someone; that’s God hugging us.  Every day, someone touches our hand or our back, and we feel her support and her love.  Every day, people show us that they recognize the beauty in us that’s in them by smiling with us; this is how we are hugged by Divine Presence.

The movement of love is forever flourishing.  I invite you to recognize it with me by practicing to "hug" someone daily, and don’t forget about the people you may not know well or don’t know at all; because when we hug each other, we are exchanging the love of God—that phenomenal energy that elevates us to the unlimited capabilities and infinite capacities that are housed within us all.  I read today in Mary Manin Morrissey’s book, Building Your Field of Dreams:

There’s an old story about a nine-year-old boy who was the Keeper of the Seal under King Louis IV.  The boy was reverted as having great mystical powers, and one day the king went to him in the hope of finding out something that mattered greatly to him. “I will give you an orange,” said the king, “if you can tell me where I can find God.”

The Keeper of the Seal gazed at him for a moment and then responded, “I will give you two oranges if you can tell me where God is not.”